Animal Boy!

At the moment of this writing, Animal Boy has reached its 29th anniversary (released in May, 1986, recorded on December, 1985), and I have a feeling that no one will commemorate its release with a special 2-CD edition. Prior to Animal Boy, most Ramones albums barely hint at the age of their conception. The first four, for the most part, sound as good and timeless as they did in the Seventies. End of the Century was probably as retro then as it is now due to the efforts to make their album sound like it was made by Phil Spector in the 60s. Pleasant Dreams continues the retro sound with a few songs that stand out of that theme, and Subterranean Jungle was stuck in the '60s-'70s hard rock/pop sound for most of the album. Too Tough to Die has some '80s influences in it, primarily in the synth-driven "Howling at the Moon" (and "Planet Earth 1988" just on title alone), but there's enough tracks to make the album free of the decade it was made in.

Animal Boy wears its age on its sleeve like no album before it. Look at the cover and tell me that it was not made in any era other than the '80s. Those horrible pastel blue letters should be the warning sign, and the script used to write Animal Boy could not have been used prior to the decade. After you get over the cover, the album is a mixed bag. Animal Boy is not as bad as Subterranean Jungle, but not as good as the album preceding it, Too Tough to Die. The album starts well, but the quality plunges towards the middle and never comes back.

It's quite a shame that it's nowhere near as good as Too Tough to Die, as that album was supposed to be a comeback of sorts after the experimental pop era. Half of the songs here are clearly influenced by the pop of the era and whatever is left ranges from tolerable to good. The album itself opens with the fast rocking "Somebody Put Something in My Drink", a catchy tune made by Richie Ramone about receiving a spiked drink (LSD?). Joey starts his growling vocals in this album, and it works for this song. Next is the title track, "Animal Boy", and it's another fine track. The lyrics are the usual Dee Dee nonsense for a Ramones song in this era, but it's just dandy. Those two tracks are the best on this album and they give the impression of a promising album. It's all smoke and mirrors as the rest of this album collapses on the weight of its overproduction.

The Sid and Nancy ballad "Love Kills" irritates me with Dee Dee's annoying hardcore voice and I really couldn't care for this song past the subject matter (Dee Dee was good friends with couple). The same goes for "Eat that Rat", as Dee Dee is just barking everything to the point of it being incomprehensible. I didn't like "Wart Hog" on the last album, and while I understand the context of his voice on those tracks, it just stinks.
The first bomb on this album is "She Belongs To Me", a bloated love ballad that is so synth-ridden and cheesy than not even Joey's vocals can save it from the cesspool. "Crummy Stuff" is a song that I wish would have a live version that I could listen to as it's probably ten times better than the crap that was put on this album. It starts off well and sounds like a genuine Ramones track, but then the synthesizers hit. I don't understand what happens next but let's just say it's the closest to a musical suicide as the band would get. It's a shame that they butchered that song without thinking twice about playing it straight.

"Bonzo Goes to Bitburg" suffers of the same problems that "She Belongs to Me" has - long, bloated with every '80s bell and whistle and barely a hint of the Ramones's sound. While I'm in the subject of bloated tracks, "Something to Believe In" is another poor song that just becomes a chore to listen to. Both tracks are commentary on then current events, ("Bonzo" is about Reagan, "Something" is supposed to be a satire of "We Are the World") and they both suck. It doesn't mean that boys can't do good political tracks, but they didn't cut it on this album. "Planet Earth 1988" is an example of a good current events track, and those two are not as good as that song.

Special mentions should go to "Mental Hell" and "Apeman Hop"."Mental Hell" is tolerable musically, but Joey's vocals save the day. "Apeman Hop" has a good riff, but the stupid animal noises get irritating (I think Dee Dee is one of the apes, I can't tell who the other ape is.)

As for the rest of this album, Joeys barks out the lyrics to "Freak of Nature" and it's just short enough to be forgetful in the "I'm glad that's over" way. "Hair of the Dog"'s opening is similar to "Daytime Dilemma" from the last album, and Joey sounds bored while singing which pains me because it makes the song banal (in a Ramones-esque way) and a little oomph on his part could have made it fun. (Yes, it's another song that could probably be better live.)

With all said and done, I count 2 good tracks, 3 tolerable ones, and 7 stinkers. My praises go to Joey, as he makes some of the worst songs sound tolerable, but even he couldn't save this album's production problems. The synthesizer kills songs like "Crummy Stuff" and the ape noises on "Apeman Hop" are tripe, and some of the production choices make bad songs like "She Belongs Me" brutal to listen through. Animal Boy is one of the Ramones's worst albums, but the good tracks on this album should be on any Ramones fan's collection. Give those songs a shot.

NEXT: Halfway to Sanity
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NOTE
When I write that some tracks may sound better live, they probably would. Live tracks prior to Loco Live are generally faster, energetic, and it's usually the four dudes playing their instruments. (Unless there's a complex solo or riff other than the riff on "California Sun") The crappy bells and whistles are gone, leaving the boys alone to rip through tracks as best as they can.